Airlines want to take advantage of you. And not in the usual bend-over-and-hand-me-your-money way. Like any responsible date, they prefer to get you trashed before sweet talking you. As such, JetBlue is scheduled to offer free beer, cocktails, and 'munchies' on SuperBowl Sunday for any unfortunate (or fortunate) passengers stuck in the air during game-time. DIRECTV has also agreed to whisper sweet nothings into your ear by letting you see the game from 35k feet in the air. While this might be a great success in JetBlue putting forth the effort to cater to their customers, just hope more so than usual that there's no babies on the flight packed with dozens of testosterone-saturated, yelling men.

As Playstation 3 gears up for its March 23 UK launch, others fill the anticipation with awkwardness. As if out of some emo-rave-circa-1997 rendition of Hairspray, the geeks over at Sony tapped into a PS3-inspired fashion show in East London. The spectacle is apparently expected to be individually blogged about by the 120 attendees. Joystiq compares this hipster clusterfuck to Sony's 'All I Want for Xmas is a PSP' fake-blog-fuck-up, based on the pretty-much-forced Word Of Mouth strategy. Just be glad that they owned up to it - like K-Fed working in fast food for a commercial, at least Sony isn't the only fake soul pictured in the set.

Spoofing is much sweeter when there's no brand. Just pure, unadulterated filth between you and your YouTube. This recently uploaded, yet outdatedly created spot for Fight Club (read: Fuck Club (read: F%@! Club for virgin eyes and/or affinities toward l33t speak) explores the queer underpinnings of Tyler Durton. While this provides a nice refresher between Wii and Apple and PC spoofing overloads, it still puts us as the office chumps if we try and ask if anyone caught that new old Fight Club spoof. Crying over YouTube not existing when your little movie came out doesn't make us pity you.

Bruised and battered, alarm clocks now equip themselves for morning intolerance. Clocky, the mobilized noisy friend, isn't able to dial 9-1-1 when you go on your 6am tirades, but he is at least able to run away like a handicrapped Honda Asimo. Specifically programmed to run and hide when you don't awake from your beauty sleep or Monday-night-hangover, Clocky will increasingly "misbehave" before you decide to down another bottle of NyQuil. Currently available for the cost of $49 and your cheeriness.

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Women are continually tagged with faking orgasms, but recent insight reveals that men may actually be the ones on the losing end of the equation. Apparently, women give out a lot more than just moans and backside "battle wounds".

Theta waves or rhythms are typically measured to reflect the part of the brain that processes incoming signals.

"When an orgasm has been achieved through sex, you can measure theta waves. These are also said to cause the "running high" feeling of euphoria experienced sometimes by marathon runners. If theta waves are taken as a criterion, the entire brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that are close on 10 times stronger than when men climax. So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm's strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman's orgasm was played through a man's brain, there's a danger that the shock to his system would kill him."

Deadly, perhaps, but we also we're born to tempt as well as kill...

"There is a very strong correlation between nerve transmitters called dopamine and pleasure. ... There also appears to be a link between this and a woman's tendency to become prettier when she falls in love."

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A spoonful of advertising makes the medicine go down for New Orleans tourism. Ready to disspell the rumors to those folks up north, the New Orleans tourism officials loosened up a little. The new campaign coincides with the upcoming Mardi Gras. Unfortunately, New Orleans isn't as loose as Las Vegas, so alas, there'll be no cute tittie puns. But "The only hard part about moving back" would still make for a great poster.

Apparently not in the market for "ultra sensitive for her pleasure" condoms, Durex appears on this ad for XXL condoms. While it could be streteched as a public annoucement for women so enamored by size that they forget to practice safe sex, it's probably safer for us to assume they were going for a different conclusion. The ad definitely gets its point across, as it's a hard one to swallow, no less, take in. While swallowing is always a nice gesture, couldn't help but spit this one back out for all of you to see.

Aside from your soul, Burger King wants to keep you as a lifelong buddy, right until the end. An ad by .start ironically captures the iconic unintentional "truth" in advertising by letting the Marlboro man have just one more, "for old time's sake". Surprisingly, this is one piece of creative The King did not touch. Otherwise, we might be forced to bring back the cowboy innuendos from last year, and everyone needs that as much as they need to cram another whopper down their throat. Perhaps chicken fries will make an appearance for the menthol campaign.

You know who you are. Luckily, SoftBank Mobile is letting you confess your sins. The new line of 3G mobile phones allows users to choose from 20 different pantone hues out of the 812SH Pantone series. No telling how much these spot colors and metallic pantones go for, but one can only hope they're not as shocking as your recent bill from the printer. Don't #FFFF00 your pants yet, though. Currently this line is only available in Japan. Makes you want to throw your bottle halftone dots at somebody, doesn't it?

While us ladies are known to self-portrait strip tease for ourselves in the privacy of our own home and boredom (you only need to look at the photo I have up to come to your own conclusion), we usually keep them safe and sound on our harddrives. Wanting to share her boredom with the blogosphere, however, Violet Blue documents her favorite panties to help relieve some stress. Also appearing in the pictures is her "blogger" tattoo which I'd love to know the backstory behind that one (also, what is with sex columnists photographing themselves with cupcakes?). With cute shoes, cute shots, cute panties (and a cute tush to match!), Violet takes care of our boredom as well.

If you've ever ventured around the blogosphere to any of the food sites, you wouldn't be surprised if they ended their recipes with a splooge frosting for extra taste and texture. With so much food porn floating around, you'd expect to get a little rough every now and again. On the contrary though, as most of the blog-foodies keep it clean like a TBS-version of Sex and the City. CMM News, however, points to a food porn advert that isn't scared to treat you like the dirty martini whore you are. He says it's NSFW, but I say fuck that.

Unsure if the boys over at Engadget will get blue balls over this evening's scheduled Daily Show event, but you can expect to hear about it if they do (doubtful considering how easily excitable they are). Bill Gates is notched in to make an appearance on Comedy Central's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart tonight. The agenda so far is simply to chat about Windows Vista, but Peter Rojas is daydreaming anyway:

"[There is] the tantalizing prospect of him finally coming face to face with John Hodgman (AKA "PC" from those "Mac vs. PC" ads) ... we'll be filling the next 35 hours or so with plenty of geek fantasies about what could potentially be some hot PC vs. PC action."

Oh Peter, we all know you'll be filling more than just time Monday night. Just be sure to clean off the latest keyboard they sent you before taking the Engadget-product-shot.

Otherwise intimidated by the massively hard sell that comes with playing with 'the big boys', Seattle coffee shops are grabbing the competition by the balls. Being pinned down as "sexpresso", local ladies are letting snooze buttons everywhere go untouched. From lacey lingerie and short skirts to hot pink hot pants, there's no reason not to get both of your addictions out of the way early. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, afterall. The barista babes seem to receive pleasure as well, seeing that their customers come with smiles and anticipation, and suddenly seem less bothered when it takes longer than usual to make their morning mocha.

"Customers pull their trucks up to the window, where Law greets each with an affectionate nickname, blows kisses, and vamps about as she steams milk for a mocha. "You want whipped cream?" she asks, a sly smile playing on her pierced lip. The next customer rolls up, and Law throws a long leg onto the window sill, like an indie-rock ballerina at the barre. "Do you like my leg warmers?" she asks. "Aren't they hot?"

Hot is not the half of it."

Perhaps developed over the numerous power outages caused by ice storms this winter, someone got a little creative with the leftover tea lights. Bringing back the classics, this stop-motion video uses a grid of candles to shed light on Pong, Pacman, Tetris and others. A romantic candlelit console for two.

Echo Robotics unveiled its latest prototype in social interaction the other day. The prototype consists of a Bluetooth-enabled teddy bear that interacts with other techie teddies to alert you when you're around someone with similar interests as yours. For some, the robot-dancing, cuddly bear may be a godsend for those lacking a wingman. However, unless you want to look like a blanket-dragging Linus, the techie teddy may be a bit more difficult to explain to a new date than the expected drunken text messages.

"Now should you take the shocked or the angry tone when reading this?"

Moreso, just like celebrities. Forbes published their list of Web Celeb 25 - the top 25 interwebbies that encapsulate the "biggest, brightest and most influential people on the Internet". The list starts out with LonelyGirl15 and trails down through bloggers, bloggers, and more bloggers. Considering LonelyGirl15 was just a one-off viral effort of sorts, you have to wonder if they notched her as #1 to avoid the wrath of the bitchy bloggers and anonymous commenters.

Using their blogs as their acceptance award stage, the blogebrities seem to stay right on cue with Hollywood. While some are thanking the academy and you can already begin to hear the music play before you reach the end of their post, others go the way of Fiona Apple and others, taking the stage time to criticize the world, leaving the audience with that awkward, "should we clap for this...?" moment.

Cease and desist letters to bloggers provide the little things in life that make us smile. Most recently, Engadget received a C&D letter for (mis?)using the term "ant farm" in a post they made about a belt-clip sized ant farm (oops!) gadget for kids. The letter reads:

"Our company, Uncle Milton Industries, Inc. is the owner of the registered trademark, "Ant Farm(R)" for our brand of ant habitat products. The phrase is not generic. We note the use of our trademark to describe a competitor's product in your website page noted above, as well as in the "Antquarium" page referenced on your site. We request that you delete the phrase "ant farm" and substitute it with a generic phrase, such as "ant habitat."

Aw, don't PR people say the darndest things? Let me think about that one while I have a Kodak moment caught on FujiFilm of "LOL"-ing so hard I pissed myself (LOLAPM!!1!1!). Needless to say, Engadget has refused to 'debug' their post but thanks Steve for playing.

The pervy yet lovable AdRants points to an antique in middle school humor. Sneaking away to their refrigerators, adolescents used to be more creative to satiate their desperation.

"Apparently way back in the 30's, the designer of the [Land O Lakes] packaging, Jess Betlach thought he'd have some fun by adding the visual hint or female aureola/nipple to the Indian woman's knees. The knees, you ask? Well, according the Where's My Jetpack, thousands of boys would cut the knees off, cut a whole where the Indian woman is holding the product and insert the image of the knees thus creating the illusion of an Indian woman holding her bare breasts."

Boys got knee-cap boobies and we only got Fabio? Ladies, we were chumped. Boys everywhere should be appreciative to now live in a time where MySpace provides all the creativity and 'imagination' for you.

We may currently be within the Web 2.0 landscape, but the advertising that frames it up is still reminiscent of a 1.0 era. Contextual advertising remains infamous for not receiving enough human touch. Consumer Generated Media, as adverters would like to define it, continues to assume that the 'consumer' wants to actively create propaganda for a brand when it's not an organic/natural occurence. MySpace, which has millions of active users and even more ads, has yet to utilize the potential of a user-chosen advertising system. Contextual and CGM advertising seem to be on the edge of easily becoming a 2.0 platform in which users are able to create their own context (as they already do), including the leaderboards and skyscrapers that frame it up.

Flip.com is taking the step forward and letting teen girls have control over its advertising:

"The intriguing aspect here is the control users will have over the ads and the form some ads will take. Girls will be able to decide which brands they see for the traditional ads. There’s also a kind of DIY product placement fitting in with the notion of “Flip books”; as the users create their books they’ll have access to items like Nordstrom-supplied images of models that aren’t visibly from the store unless clicked. Clean & Clear will provide logo-and-product-less word icons. Users will be able to write what they think about the products in their books. That user control and influence makes it attractive".

Obviously, many paying advertisers may be quick to object to the CGM 2.0 platform, but the more it becomes accepted, the more it may challenge advertising to a new understanding of Web 2.0. There is a large online audience of people who won't create a Chevy Tahoe ad, but also hate that the most annoying, flashy banners for mortgages get put on their MySpace pages. There's also advertisers who would pay much more for being placed in a social network that is actually relevant by choice, rather than by keywords. So, while Word Of Mouth remains the number one source behind the majority of purchase decisions, why not create advertising that truly begins to leverage it?

You may still have the same clothes on from the day before, but a new quickie shop aims to at least make your post-weeknight-hookup a little more easy on the eyes for your coworkers. BlowDry Bar is a three-station pod that offers hair styling from previous and current fashion eras. Created by a father and son duo, the hybrid barber shop is currently in London with plans to duplicate in New York. The beehive hairdo may not be flattering, but at least it'll divert attention away from the smeared eyeliner and run in your 'hose.

In rare nooks and cranies inbetween the advertising clusterfuck that is urbanism, there exist tranquil moments of image decay. Distraught and broken hearted over the interruption of their otherwise culture polluted street sides, two ephemeral artists have done a bit of cut'n'paste action from online to offline. Broken Link takes the familiar broken image icon to a physical setting. Smirks of passersby alert to those who partake in this inside joke known as the interweb.

Known for her design, Kate Spade reveals sneak peeks behind the curtains of her composition. Giving a selection of photos from her Spring 2006 collection, she also offers a "behind the scenes" gallery with the pre-silicon production value. The retro-hipness of it all may just make you want to bake cupcakes after a day of shoe shopping and hitchhiking. How bohemian-hipster (...bohepster?) of you.

Violet Blue points us to the ladies of the Pillow Fight League. Fluffed and feathered, the most ruthless pillow fighting chicks gear up for national tryouts. Having made two stops in Brooklyn, with their next tryout scheduled to be at the upcoming SXSW, the league is currently gaining momentum.

"While the women on Pillow Fight League keep their clothes decidedly *on* and Fox News has video with one pillow pusher claiming that she doesn't think it's a "sexual thing", the rest of us can sit back and smirk quietly about videos and galleries of really cute girls bedecked in ruffle butt fighting gear all grinning and tussling and taking their aggressions out on each other with the ultimate in blunt instruments -- feather-stuffed sacks of destruction".

You have to wonder if the audience far outweighs the participants in these tryouts. If I make it to SXSW this year, I'll be sure to try and cover both sides of the experience.

Perhaps this is the one kind of Life that Mikey really doesn't like. As disgruntled as the four-year-old who hated everything, anti-Second Life-ers have created a snarky site called First Life. First Life claims to be a 3D analog world where server lag doesn't exist and you can even "fornicate using your actual genitals". Yes, apparently even in First Life, there are false claims in advertising. That's how they hook you - rope you in with high hopes of genital fornication and throw you out with a whiny bitch who's "not in the mood" and an expired condom. Hmm, maybe Second Life isn't so bad afterall.

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The recipe for YouTube success seems to be a comfort food everyone grew up with. Destruction of products, the more brand-heavy, the sweeter, and a lack or complete disregard of editing skills creates a delightful snack for everyone to enjoy. The Sony PSP appears to be the latest YouTube star, in a katana-stabbing match. What kind of dork owns a katana, you ask? The same kind that attempts a PSP seppuku with bare feet. Somewhat cringing and yet still hopeful that the little chump would stab and miss, one must realize that not all can reach the YouTube greatness of those past.

Getting through the depression was the easy part. Wading through all the trying-to-be-quirky blog posts about Blue Monday was another story. If you didn't already gouge your eyes out from the lame "don't worry, everyone feels just like you" posts and are still experiencing blog fatigue symptoms, the Therapie wants to turn your frown upside down. As annoyingly cute (and, in a way, creepy) as a grown woman who dots her i's with hearts, the Therapie, spelled with an 'ie' for extra brownie points and gold stars, claims to create a peaceful mood with color and light therapy. Shipping currently takes 4-6 weeks, so you may want to reconsider the gouging.

Over drinks, it has been discussed many a time: the science of tushology. As a friend of mine put it, a tush is the ultimate perfection (what most super models have), an ass includes the majority of fairly attractive women, and a butt is the bottom of the totem pole. An article in the New York Times even outlined the mathematical equation explaining tushology:

"The equation that describes the quality of the female rear end, according to Holmes, is (S + C) x (B + F)/T - V, where S = Overall Shape (“including tendency to droop”), C = Circularity, B = Bounce Factor (not to be confused with “wobble”), F = Firmness (with perfect being “like a comfy bed”), T = Skin Texture and V = Vertical Ratio (the goal: “on the top-heavy side of symmetrical”). For the male rear end, the equation replaces bounce, circularity and vertical ratio with M (Muscularity), L (Leanness) and O (Overall Symmetry)."

Is it no wonder then that Jessica Biel has chosen to display her derriere, following in the footsteps of Jessica Alba's highly sought after bikini bottom. Jessica Biel likes to give as well as receive, though, passing her booty baton onto Maria Menouno's tush with a brief slap and verbal encouragement.

Perhaps the moneyshot shouldn't actually jump out of the TV and into your living room. The latest in HDTV clarity makes some porn stars uneasy, and it's not a case of the 'butterflies'.

"The XXX industry has gotten too graphic, even for its own tastes ... “The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director. Ms. Daniels is also a skeptic. “I’m not 100 percent sure why anyone would want to see their porn in HD,” she said."

To cure the blemishes, wrinkles, and cellulite that can't exist in fantasy land, many directors are taking them in to post-production for a touch-up quickie. Others have gone to more extreme measures, claiming to get more plastic surgery just to cater to HD.

"Men are all about outdoing each other, being up with the times, being cool, having the latest technology,” [Ms. Daniels] said. “They’re willing to sacrifice our vanity and imperfections to beat each other” to high-definition, she said."

Shaved and squeaky clean, this ad was recently captured on a street in Paris. Though not trying to sell us the latest version of the precarious 'Down Under' Nads, the ad is reminiscent of the good ol' days in infomercials, overly dramaticizing nicks and cuts from shaving. It's a wonder any of us made it through becoming a woman without slicing our legs in half or waxing our skin off. It may be winter, and you may be single, but Valentine's Day soon approaches - shave for hope, ladies.

In a god-knows-why stunt, a man ponders, "I wonder what it would look like to see every ad in Times Square all on one page.” Equipped with a camera, too much spare time, and the remnants of a soul, David catalogged as many ads as he could point his lens at. With so many to pick from, you can easily choose which ones have pissed you off the most over the course of your daily commute or New Year's Eve let down spent at home. If only someone had told him he could get the same effect by just visiting the Million Dollar Homepage (or the sequel: Pixelotto).