Peeps + microwave = happy easter!

We all know that presents from Vicky's help us get a little kinky in bed, but we've never been the type to be into choking fetishes. Supposedly, Victoria's Secret Stuffer Bears are being recalled for potential choking hazards to young children. Yet another reason to keep Mommy and Daddy's "toys" in a safe place.

Perhaps in an effort to get their 500 women employees more excited for the work week, a Taiwanese company did away with "casual Fridays" and went straight to camis and panties Wednesday. The company, Audrey Underwear, wanted to celebrate record sales of a new line of camisoles by asking its employees to come to work in nothing but knickers.

"We have been waiting for this day all month. Today, we are super high, and don't know where to put our eyes," salesman Cai Mingda told Straits News. More than 90% of female workers reportedly went along with the spirit of the day and worked in their underwear."

With all the palpable excitement, the firm made a monthly day to look forward to getting laced up. If only America could take after Audrey Underwear, single women would be able to ensure their imported and expensive lingerie would garner at least a few looks. For the self-employed, we'll be celebrating in style from the comfort of our home office.

[A weekly link post of skipped over (and slightly stale) sights and stories]

• Getting dressed inside-out: Mobius dress

• More cringe-worthy than white after Labor Day: MySpace users recruited to help fashion marketers

• An entire book dedicated to s'mores with marshmallow-y food porn goodness

• Chopsticks + spoon = choon?

• Carpet alarm clock makes you get out of bed

Getting ready for Halloween requires more than a pair of fishnets to freeze the rest of the night in. Many are making the evening memorable with a variety of morbid recipes.

Perhaps among the most interesting, the Robotic Snap-O-Lantern was at the recent Maker Faire featuring pumpkin robots (I'm coining the term "geekins"). With a couple of Duracells, the Snap-O-Lantern turns on to be quite the deadly squash.

Craftzine and Slashfood are spookifying your sweets with Spider Cakes and Punk Glow-in-the-Dark Cupcakes.

If Snap-O-Lanterns and sweets aren't enough to satiate, Suicide Girls tackles the unstoppable sexy costume scene. Seemingly, sexy-anything costumes are the ultimate undead.

The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. Pictured: A business that puts out to let you in.

[via]

Previously: Literally, A Web Log

Having a passion for popping can take on multiple forms. Apparently, bubble wrap celebrated it's 50th birthday recently. Violet Blue kindly points to who is receiving pleasure from 50 years of insatiable popping. From bras to bikinis, and "kittehs", too, bubble wrap has laid a foundation in becoming a fetish. While many leave their lust as casual habit, there's always those who prefer it hardcore.

Previously: Popping her chocolate-covered cherry
Nervous habits go mobile

Dressed up in drag, GM a couple months ago gave into an unusual team building experience. Mary Spies, a vehicle line director took her male team out to "learn" about what women "have to go through":

""We dressed him in a garbage bag to simulate a tight skirt. We gave him rubber gloves with press on nails, a purse, a baby, and a baby stroller and some chores like loading groceries." With all female handicaps in place, the men were then required to go through what women do routinely every day."

A bit shocked that there isn't more negative publicity about this, here's a heap of criticism. Firstly, "female handicaps" can't quite be seen as anything but an offensive phrase. The entire article tries to spin that this exercise at GM was to make their vehicles less male focused. By the article stating that babies and purses are "female handicaps", that alone already makes GM that much more discreditable. However, the most irritating idea in the entire scheme is the fact that GM comes off as so insulting of a company that they choose to dress the men in drag to gain female "insight" instead of, say, oh, hiring *female engineers*.

Boothbabes take a more honest approach to marketing.

Passive Aggressive Notes

Breast enlarging cookies from Japan.

[via]

While looking at lingerie is always a pleasure, this push-up is painful to the eyes. The internal silicon bra attaches itself to ribs and various other points inside the body to act as a sub-skin support. The bra acts as an alternative to augmentation, but doesn't seem to be catering to the squeamish anymore than going under the knife. Uplifting lingerie certainly provides perks, but to what pain is a little pleasure worth?

Belly fat is now being used for boob jobs. The procedure, dubbed Celution (sigh) uses fat from the belly or below mixed up with a cocktail of stem cells to create some serious boobage. Within an hour, the process of 'baby got back' to boobs is completed. Despite the one hour quickie, your breasts will fill out slowly over the next six months.

[image via]

Make your man purse your main squeeze by holding onto it tight. A recent dive into research reveals that men typically carry around more expensive items in their accessories than women, making them a target for murse muggers. An average male in the UK carries around £319 ($637) in his murse while women typically only carry £255 ($509). The main difference in dollars is due to the fact that men are more likely to carry laptops around than women. Extra baggage is rarely ever a good thing, but in this case, you may want to embrace it.

San Francisco is seducing Shake Well Before Use this week (hence the minimal posting). In the meantime 'til Monday, feel up Gridskipper's San Francisco summer faves.

Update: Follow the SF flirtation on Twitter.

Maybe not as decadent as a devil food Decepticon, an Autobot angel cake is equally as impressive. Not made in the stereotypical dark basement, the bot baking was made by a married couple. Andrew and Jessica spent $85 and 22 hours creating the Optimus Prime cake. Andrew gives you a 3d video of the palatable 'Prime complete with midi-esque music, while Jessica offers out the 22 hour Optimus instructions. It would be even more impressive if the cake transformed, or perhaps if someone created an Optimus Prime pie (if only so we could use the utterly cringe-worthy play on "more than meets the pie" -- sorry, couldn't resist!).

Shaped for summer, a chef in Washington DC has created the beer popsicle, or more crudely, "beer on a stick". The chef at Rustico's has called the contraption a "hopsicle". The hopsicle was founded by accidentally putting a beer in the freezer, and like any non-metrosexual man, deciding to eat it rather than wait for it to melt like a sissy. The restaurant now claims that the frozen treat is selling "like hotcakes". However, that shouldn't deter you from attempting to blow-your-own-beer at home.

[via]

Now you can take your nervous habits and quirky obsessions with you on the go. The PuchiPuchi bubble wrap keychain allows you to pop-pop-pop your worries away. After every hundred pops, the toy makes an awkward sound (from barking dogs to "sexy voices"). Since only a bubble wrap simulator, its pocket popping pleasure may only be as satisfying as a pocketpussy.

[A weekly link post of skipped over (and slightly stale) sights and stories]



• That has to be the most distracting set of earmuffs I've ever seen. (28 things to do with an old bra).

• Scratch & Strip beer bottles give bored bar hoppers hard-ons, get banned.

• eHarmony rejects gays, Chemistry.com won't take no for an answer.

• It's fashionable to carry a bit of meat on you.

• Astroglide up in your nut-sprinkled sundae: Cool Whip contains lube.

[A weekly link post of skipped over (and slightly stale) sights and stories]

• Women turned off by webcams, supply still satiates male demand.

• Hot handhelds: Atari controller candle

• Gamecake: Palatable Pacman

• Musical instrument of lemons explores photosynthesis.

• Fibre optic threads light up your rainy day.

Weird Asia News points to a spotted and slightly scary Japanese vending machine. Like sugary cereal, the play-time poo comes in all colors under the rainbow and appears to be magically delicious. A Spanish speaking host displays his excitement over the excrement, pretending that the poo can talk. Uncertain if these vending machine poos are edible, we could only wish to ask him to eat --it.

Motorized pink bunny slippers and an all-electric cupcake. Adorably delicious.

Girls and Corpses magazine. At least your 'pretty girls always date chumps' theory is partially proven now.

[In LA for the next few days, hence the low calorie posting week]

[via]

Geeks are gaining more ground with social networking on the interweb, but are assimilating pop culture as well. Like the porn versus social communities graph from last month, nerds are on a course to surpass adult entertainment. Geek Sugar points to an anonymous Craigslister with a numbered list for why geeks should be on your radar for dating:

1. While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.
2. They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.
3. They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.
4. Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.
5. They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

It'd be interesting to see a list for reasons to date a geek girl. In more recent geeky goodness, Geek Prom 2007 was held on Saturday, more photos can be seen here. [Photo above courtesy of massdistraction]

[A weekly link post of skipped over (and slightly stale) sights and stories]

"Study reveals that kids multitask" - as if it was any wonder what they were doing with their other hand...

Axe ditches advertising for straight up pr0n. Perhaps sex agencies will outdate ad agencies. Sounds like my kind of job.

Lolcats be warned - Cats That Look Like Hitler are in ur country, takin ur interweb freedom

"A woman is suing Best Buy, claiming a member of its Geek Squad tech support team left a cell phone in her bathroom to surreptitiously record video of her 13-year-old daughter taking a shower."

Robots have hearts, too.

There's no end to incorporating interweb humor into your daily intake, and breakfast is no exception. Bringing a new meaning to "finger food", the typewriter iron features minimal modification for morning waffles. The appliance was created by Chris Dimino for a School of Visual Arts exhibit. While many of us computer addicts claim we could eat off of our collected keyboard crumbs, this one may be more filling. So butter up that (key)board and satisfy yourself with some syrup spillage, as this is the only one that won't have a sticky shift key the next day.

While trends flickr and fade, Lolcats seem to never get old. Laughing Squid points out the phenomenon while joining in on the cat meme revolution. The misspelled cat captioned photos have expanded to social networks as well, perhaps to slow down "your shit is broken!" emails from flooding the inbox. Sites like Twitter and Iminlikewithyou have caught on and created their own Lolcats. Perhaps Second Life and MySpace could take some learnings from these Lolcat earlier adopters. So, even though interweb stars may pop up on VH1 (if we're lucky, we'll see their 'vh1's behind the interweb' drugged out downfall in years to come), Lolcats seem to have star staying power.

[Sidenote: Giving a keynote speech on virtual communities and Second Life today at a mini conference. Perhaps a Lolcat is in order to soften the audience up beforehand. Jealous? You can build your own here.]

Camping caters to condom conservation. Apparently, with a bit of elbow grease and DIY-action, condoms make great fire-starters. What, you thought that camping out with sleeping bags was going to secretly help you score? Pay a visit to your pocket and rip off that rear-warmed wrapper. Between safe sex and cooking Ramen, condoms really do help protect you from the elements, at least until your fire goes flacid.

With visions of sugarplums and sex fantasies dancing in their heads, there was something quite abnormal positioned around their beds. Bloody and bizarre, the Blood Puddle Pillow is the perfect companion for a sleepover or late April Fools. While lacking in slumber party pillow-fight fantasy feathers, the crimson counterpart definitely makes up for it in photo-fun. Currently the pillows seem unavailable for purchase, but somehow the DIY task shouldn't be too daunting.

Out with the old, you can now eat in with the new. Looking for new spins on spindles, Slashfood features a recycling tip for old formats:

"transport your bagel sandwich! Using the CD spindle helps keep all the layers in place, and the hard case keeps the bagel sandwich from getting squashed in your bag upon transport. Of course, this means you have to account for that hole in the middle when you're making the sandwich, but that's just a minor technicality."

You may also have to account for your coworkers rolling their eyes at the sight of your geekery.

Decked out in anime, a new airline caters to children and f-ed up fantasies with a Sanrio sensation. Eva Air, a Taiwanese airline, created Eva Kitty, an airline entirely in ode to Hello Kitty. With pink patterns and precious Hello Kitty outfits for flight attendants, Eva Kitty proves to be playful. Despite catering to the kids, does the fantasy of flying with anime-infatuated Japanese women play out to the pervs? Perhaps it's best that this sub-airline only takes tickets between Taipei, Fukuoka and Tokyo, leaving our American anime appetites untroubled.

Peep show.

[Sidenote: Back from Seattle - thanks again to Gavin for guest blogging last week!]

Kids love their mashups [ Nike: The Second Coming - via]

Experimenting with analog [ Roy Block - via ]

Tell kids to stick their heads in it [ Plastic Bag Chandelier - via ]

Sure you can take it, but can you dish it out? [ Dishmaker - via ]

[Sidenote: A guest blogger may be on the way for the remainder of this week, so stay tuned]

Last Friday marked the birthday bash of Hollywood's hated, Perez Hilton. The self-proclaimed queen pissed what's left of his 20's away as he went town, turning the tender age of 29. With bad makeup and blue hair dye, Perez Hilton, lesser known as Mario Lavandeira, danced with divas 'til the early break of dawn in Los Angeles. The birthday debauchery seemed to be a success with guest appearances from Paris Hilton, John Stamos, Amy Winehouse, Kelly Osbourne, David Spade, and Andy Milonakis. Any celeb that can take Microsoft Paint drawings in stride is always a friend.

The event was sponsored by a slew of brands ready to pick up the bill. Absolut, KY Intrigue, Ginch Gonch and Red Bull were loosened up for liquor and lubrication, while LA bands like Ultraviolet laid down some electro. Other performers stepped up and stripped down, such as burlesque extraordinaire Dita Von Teese with her classy pin-up performance. While documentation of all the debauchery didn't end up defaced with bad handwriting and white dots, we can only hope that the they'll return after some much needed hangover help.

Despite all the Ecstasy you may have done as a raver back in the 90s, perhaps all the waving glowsticks and twittering lights did some good. A fairly new therapy uses light to help guide your way to that magical place in the sky where... Wait, not that kind of light. This one is less likely to let you ask God how he felt to have a one-night-stand with Sarah Silverman, and in fact is actually meant to help with insomnia and jetlag. The Feel Bright Light is a portable device that allows you to clip it to the edge of your visor (just like a real ravekid!) to receive phototherapy. Here's hoping you don't give it a trial run in Boston and find yourself only being able to answer hair-related questions the next day.

Surviving dating for anyone at any stage probably has less optimistic survivor stories. Hopefully, a new dating service can help breathe life back into the otherwise lifeless dating scene. C is for Cupid is unlike any other, in that it's purpose is to help singles affected by cancer to 'connect' in whichever sense of the word. Their stated goal is create a comfortable, confidential, and compatible environment. Founded just this year, the service is still free to the public.

[via]

Popping carries a certain anticipation with it. Whether it be bubble wrap or your first girlfriend, the anticipation is often times more pleasurable than the release. Claiming to be equally as addictive as bubble wrap, a San Francisco boutique has crafted chocolate bubble wrap. While it may not pose as a swallowing hazard to children, of-age oral sensations should always be under close supervision. The DeLessio market and bakery opens wide with a variety of chocolate mixtures for the tasting. Unfortunately, it looks as if they don't ship their products nationally. What would be more delicious than a chocolate bubble-wrapped package at your door?

Supersize subculture has taken a toll, spreading beyond the American appetites and into Asian affinities. Weird Asia News points to one such instance where a Chinese company boiled a 1500 pound cow whole. Putting men to shame, the thick meat took 10 hours to cook and more mouths to eat than could be competed with. While the money raised from selling the meat went to charity, PETA most likely doesn't condone whoring meat out for Billy's education.

Hair is typically one of the first things someone notices about you. While not referencing your fauxhawk or mullet, hair that is actually unwanted is just as bad as hair that's unglamorous. For women, unwanted hair is an unfortunate fact of life kept under the rug and in pinky-swears across salons. Tweezed, shaved, waxed, and tortured, like James Bond, we're good at keeping sensitive secrets. It's no wonder then that a new form of hair removal comes in an unorthodox manner. Perhaps the latest 'gadget' from Q, spearmint tea has been tied to anti-follicular action. By drinking two cups of spearmint tea a day, it reduces the production of testosterone and increases feminine hormones, which in turn can cut back on your unsightly self.

Candy bar concepts.

[via]

You fluffed up and feathered for tomorrow?

Eating contests usually conjur up memories of not-so-cute images, or for some, a toilet. Breaking the barf-barrier usually associated with eating contests, Conneticut hosts a Vegan Cupcake Eating Contest. Making their appearance on March 24, the vegans who spent so much precious time taking care of their bodies can now put it all to shame. It's like giving Valentine's chocolates to single girls. At least their puke will be decorated with candy hearts on the way out. The event is to celebrate the launch of a new vegan cupcake recipe book. A few samples can be found here and here.

Grilled cheese has always been a cheap favorite. Where can you go wrong with bread and cheese? While it may seem difficult to screw up, The 4th 2nd Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational is prepared to make you compete for your I-screwed-up-the-least bragging title. Telling by the music on their website, the Invitational likes to lay the cheese on thick: "While anyone is welcome to sign up and compete, only the few, the proud, the winners will be able to raise their cheese and butter speckled fists to the angry sky above and scream: “I am a Fucking Grilled Cheese Champion™!” Laughing Squid tells us it's too late to "register your sammich" but they're still taking applicants for oral judges. And, just in case, there will be a cash bar there, too. I won't be in Los Angeles for the event, but I do have an awkward yet delicious habit of ordering grilled cheese and a martini on an almost-weekly basis. Here's to awkward-pleasures.

While fetishes among people are sometimes derived from childhood fears, fetishes among pets may be following in step. This YouTube video recently surfaced involving a cat that receives (and asks for) a spanking. You'd have to wonder if he/she gets into the trash on purpose. Though the video is cute, who is taking more pleasure from the spanking? Here's hoping the owner isn't letting out frustrations of having a timid girlfriend.

While always a fan of feminine pleasure, something tells us that the Japanese have made 'take out' a bit more scary than just an overdose of MSG. A new fad at a Japanese restaurant diverts away from the so-last-year trend of eating sushi off a sexy, naked woman's body (yum!), by of course, fake augmentation. Replacing the old trend, a fake body sculpted out of food rests on the table, just asking to be eaten out. While a friend may describe the thought to be as gross as going down on a girl with a yeast infection, the Japanese intend it to be even more horrific. By opening up a piece of bleeding skin, you are then supposed to eat the insides. Perhaps we'll just stick to the spring rolls.

Sweet ride.

Telling us what we already know, a new study says it's healthy to tease ourselves. However, before you dive into your one-handed-typing segway, it's not the kind of tease you get from Girls Gone Wild at 4am on a Tuesday. The study, conducted by the University of Hertfordshire in England, concerned the affects dieting takes on perceptions and emotions.

"Researchers ... showed women pictures of chocolate or magazine ads of nonfood items. Those who had previously dieted or were on a diet had greater feelings of guilt about chocolate ... These negative emotions, in turn, could lead to cravings for chocolate".

Being good has always been a tease. Get hot for health by orally pleasuring yourself in addition to your daily exercise routine to help fight off cravings and carbs.

A hospital in Liverpool has a high demand for fake breasts. They're asking for donations towards fifty fakies, which may be a tall glass to fill. Surprisingly silicon is not on the menu. Au contraire, they're requesting hand-fondledcrafted boobs that have only been poked at by needles. Yes, knitted fakies have become all the rage for teaching new babes how to breastfeed.

"Kate McFadden, the hospital's infant feeding co-ordinator, has already knitted several and has called in the services of her mother, a keen knitter. The breasts are produced in a variety of skin shades."

The hospital continues to ask for more naughty knitters to pitch in. Give it a week before Orange County comes to fend-for-the-fakes.

Ladies, not satisfied between the sheets but holding out that he'll come through on Valentine's Day? Don't let your dissatisfaction simmer for too long, for White Castle could give you a night you wish you wouldn't remember for years to come. Ah yes, the mighty White Castle doesn't want to be left out anymore than the whiney single girl who ironically refuses to shut up.

"Make your Valentine’s day STEAMY! Take your Valentine to White Castle on Wednesday, February 14 between 5 and 8 p.m. and enjoy hostess seating, candlelit dining and your own server. Reservations are required, so check the list below for participating Castles near you! Special this year, you can also treat your honey to a romantic White Castle dinner in your home! Cupid’s Crave Kits include eight cheeseburgers, one sack of fries, two regular soft drinks, coupons and keepsake items to heat up your homespun romance. Now, ain’t that sweet?"

Mini cheeseburgers come in mini packages, and don't think there's a 'big one' waiting for you under the tree. It's fairly safe to say that any man who treats you to White Castle on Valentine's Day should lose any mini-hope you had left for him.

Refusing whipped cream, frilly toppings aren't the only thing that has these protestors steamed over Starbucks' $4 lattes. Laughing Squid caught the protest taking place in New York the other day. Apparently "Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping" invaded a local Starbucks to protest Starbucks opposition to Ethiopia's plan to trademark specialty coffee names. From the Rev's website:

"Let’s dance and exorcise some cash registers! Confront Starbucks for stealing the trademarks of Ethiopia’s ancient coffees, like Sidamo and Harar. Honor the destitute farmers by defeating the $4 latte!"

Hmm, something tells us that it'll take more than some "clever" crossing out of letters and logos to defeat the caramel coffee goodness.

Feeling more fiesty for February? Before you bite your lip, these lovely luxuries are designed to sex up your partner or self:

• Bella Bella Boutique brings new reasons to email links with "(hint hint)" at the end [Styledash]

• "Luxury, design-forward pleasure objects" - C'mon, Valentine's Day is all about letting your loved one know how you feel, so just call it what it is - a sex toy for the dildo-intimidated [Josh Spear]

• You'll need a bath after being so dirty, the LED soapy love heart is the almost-perfect mate [Craft:]

Getting fabulous for February? It takes more than just being sweet. Kindness to craftiness and a dash of creativity will help you cozy up to your current or soon-to-be sweetheart:

• Cute to some, obnoxious to crowded New York sidewalks [Notcot]

• Mittens made for two, Smittens keep you close and cozy [Styledash]

• Put your unused CD cases to better use, making mix CDs for your crush is so last decade [Craft:]

(Image courtesy of the similarly dirty minded Hugh Macleod)

What: Kansas City Coffee Morning


When: Tomorrow, February 2, 2007 @ 7:30am (yes, you can come bitch about how early it is with us)

Where: JP's Wine Bar @ 1526 Walnut

Why: Russell Davies started it in London, which then spread to Key West, Eugene, Bangkok, Scandinavia, Chicago, Brighton, Sheffield, Bucharest, Portland, Dallas, Toronto, Kansas City, NYC, and Sydney. American Copywriter started it in KC.

Who: Me, you, and unspoken sexual tension. Just kidding about the last part, unless you aren't.

Any questions? We even have a FAQ page for it.

A new shower meant for sports-types-on-the-go lets users scrub away shame. Aptly named, Hot Jugz (I kid you not, I couldn't even come up with that one), the mobile shower makes you wonder 'who are the ad wizards who came up with that?'. How does it work? Glad you asked. You pump it 20 times to heat up the 'jugz'-o-water for 16 minutes of pleasure. This task is ergonomically designed, as it should come natural to most men. Unfortunately, most men complained of pumping and only lasting a minute.

Getting a fax from Western civilization (and perhaps a blog post or two from AdRants), a man attempts to put the "sex sells" claim to work. Apparently only getting half the memo, a man tried to sell fruit by the gender. Labeling some fruits as female and others as male, the vendor charged more for the male variety than the female. When asked, the vendor pleaded the 5th on describing the differences between the gendered fruit, and officials soon after shut it down. Banana jokes aside, the man was a quick study in advertising, already using sex and false claims to his benefit.

Airlines want to take advantage of you. And not in the usual bend-over-and-hand-me-your-money way. Like any responsible date, they prefer to get you trashed before sweet talking you. As such, JetBlue is scheduled to offer free beer, cocktails, and 'munchies' on SuperBowl Sunday for any unfortunate (or fortunate) passengers stuck in the air during game-time. DIRECTV has also agreed to whisper sweet nothings into your ear by letting you see the game from 35k feet in the air. While this might be a great success in JetBlue putting forth the effort to cater to their customers, just hope more so than usual that there's no babies on the flight packed with dozens of testosterone-saturated, yelling men.

Violet Blue points us to the ladies of the Pillow Fight League. Fluffed and feathered, the most ruthless pillow fighting chicks gear up for national tryouts. Having made two stops in Brooklyn, with their next tryout scheduled to be at the upcoming SXSW, the league is currently gaining momentum.

"While the women on Pillow Fight League keep their clothes decidedly *on* and Fox News has video with one pillow pusher claiming that she doesn't think it's a "sexual thing", the rest of us can sit back and smirk quietly about videos and galleries of really cute girls bedecked in ruffle butt fighting gear all grinning and tussling and taking their aggressions out on each other with the ultimate in blunt instruments -- feather-stuffed sacks of destruction".

You have to wonder if the audience far outweighs the participants in these tryouts. If I make it to SXSW this year, I'll be sure to try and cover both sides of the experience.

Getting through the depression was the easy part. Wading through all the trying-to-be-quirky blog posts about Blue Monday was another story. If you didn't already gouge your eyes out from the lame "don't worry, everyone feels just like you" posts and are still experiencing blog fatigue symptoms, the Therapie wants to turn your frown upside down. As annoyingly cute (and, in a way, creepy) as a grown woman who dots her i's with hearts, the Therapie, spelled with an 'ie' for extra brownie points and gold stars, claims to create a peaceful mood with color and light therapy. Shipping currently takes 4-6 weeks, so you may want to reconsider the gouging.

Just like the celebs, entourages are now available for hire at a much lower price (if you don't count your soul). A new German site allows users to rent out demonstrators for public protests. For $188 a day, you too can rent out students and housewives to do your dirty work. As long as you're not a neo-nazi, the possibilities seem endless. Whether you're protesting clothes or monogamy, it always feels good to have someone behind you.

Spit Art. I'm sure his mother is proud.

Wanting women to regurgitate the contents of their stomachs, a France-based artist has created the Spermcube. No beating around the proverbial bush, the artist Philippe Meste aims to produce a cube filled with 264 gallons (literally, 1 ton) of human sperm. Meste asks for men around the world to donate to his grotesque vision by providing donor kits online. While there's more than enough sperm in the world, usually the name of the game for most men is to keep it outside of 'the box'. While this box may not be as warm and velvety, at least it doesn't get knocked up.

At least it wasn't 'hold Justin Tumberlake's dick-in-a-box for an Xbox'?

Dane Cook thinks bloggers are cynical assholes. Maybe so, but even we write better jokes.

Previously: Wii puts Weight Watchers to shame: The After.

Greatest thing since for sliced bread, Toast Automatica.

No, I really don't care what you read today.

Tasty textures seem to be the feeling on the tip of your tongue that you just can't place. The latest trends in food document textures as the top item that we base our likes and dislikes around.

"Making sure that commercial food products feel right in our mouth is an enormous part in the development of any new food item. That's why you see the ingredients carrageenan, carob bean, food starch, and guar gum on many foods. They increase creaminess, amp up the thickness, and otherwise make foods feel better in your mouth."

As they say, life is like a box of chocolates - it's always delightful to open up to an oral surprise. If nothing else, it's satisfying to be good with your mouth, so use it.

300 New Yorkers unzipped for the sixth annual No Pants! Subway Ride on Saturday. The flash-mob-esque stunt was part of Improv Everywhere's many "scene causing" sights. While sure that there were sights you wish you hadn't seen, a few had to wonder if the choices in socks were actually far more amusing than the stubble and cellulite. I personally would've gone with a garter belt but there's always next year. For more panties, boxers, briefs, and balls, photos are here and here.

DIY: Kat litter cake

The Japanese always find a way of reminding us why we're so giddy about their culture. Taking Japanese girls out of dubayu-tee-eff moments would be like trying to take the red out of Kool-Aid. For your consideration, a couple of happy exploding fun Japanese clips:

Butt-wrestling babes in bikinis

Rodeo-riding babes in bikinis (some assembly required, comes with creme pies provided by fully masked men in black)

Making bets on everyday activities can increase excitement and become quite addicting (admittedly I just lost a bet last weekend and had to see Rocky Balboa as a result). When the stakes rise, the results become even more interesting. Such is the case for a would-be World Cup Austrian skiier who lost a bet with his physiotherapist. The stakes? Skiing down a mountain naked.

"Schoenfelder skied wearing only yellow boots and an orange helmet and gloves, and a photographer snapped a shot of the skier that has been circulated on the Internet."

While embarassing, making bets can always help break the ice.

[via]

Amazon is truly able to find all your wants and needs. Apparently able to locate the path to a woman's pleasure, the product search engine doubles as a homewrecker. An unrelated study supports that the better you know your spouse, the more likely you are to buy them crappy gifts.

"Pamela Meyers was delighted to receive yet another thoughtful CD recommendation from Amazon.com Friday, confirming that the online retail giant has a more thorough, individualized, and nuanced understanding of Meyers' taste than the man who occasionally claims to love her, husband Dean Meyers.

While the powerful algorithms that power Amazon's recommendations generator do not have the advantage of being able to observe Meyers' body language, verbal intonation, or current personal possessions, they have nonetheless proven more effective than Dean, who bases his gift-giving choices primarily on what is needed around the house, what he would like to own, and, most notably, what objects are nearby."

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Jetlagged bodies always deserve a night of relaxation after a cramped trip. While probably only affordable to people already accustomed to the leg-stretching and steaks of first class, Yotel, a hotel inside an airport, tempts for more indulgent traveling. Located inside Terminal 4 at Heathrow, with another location at Gatwick, one of the world's largest airports is equipped to turn the classic "arrival-kiss" at the gate between loved ones into an arrival-fuck at the terminal. Like a flower shop at a hospital, the many shops at Heathrow (such as Agent Provocateur) only cater to becoming an all-in-one destination for long distance relationships. With so much temptation, laptop cases may need to create models for men that sling over the front for added anticipation coverage.

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You made it five days. Pat yourself on the back. Time to give those new year's reolutions the ol' heave ho. According to the New York Post, being naughty has more benefits than just a slap on the ass. Candy and gossip are said to increase longevity, drinking decreases heart attacks, staying up late helps digestion, sleeping in keeps you slim, and video games keep you alert. It truly is nice to be naughty.

And no, not talking about the recent buzzword buzzkill when we all discovered that Cisco had the rights to use the word iPhone. However, this may sooth Apple's pains, as that buzzword is now so last year (or a few years ago for those of us l33t geeks - is l33t banned yet?).

Lake Superior State University recently listed their banished words for 2007, highlights from the list include:

Combined Celebrity Names - yes, you may just have to take a few extra syllables to talk about how creepy Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are or just give up trying to make a name for Justin Timberlake and Scarlett Johansson - although, I've become fond of "Scarin".
Awesome - The list claims it's so 1984, but VH1 still loves the 80s.
PWN or PWNED - Oh c'mon, when have gamers ever realized what year it is from outside their basement windows? They're worried about clocking speeds, not actual clocks.
i-Anything - But YouTube would be a lonely place without spoofs! Besides, with Time Magazine's recent lame Person of the Year issue, the focus is on "You", not i.

A recent report points to sick passengers as one of the main delays in New York subways. Gawker and the article go on to claim that skinny bitches are the new target for angry New Yorkers (hating hipsters is so 2006).

"You have women trying to get their bodies tight for the summer and they won't eat," said Asim Nelson, a Transit emergency medical technician based in Grand Central Station. "Not eating for three or four days, you are going to go down. If you don't eat for 12 hours you are going to get weak." Talisa McGraw, 17, sheepishly admitted to skipping breakfast and dinner the night before she fainted on a downtown No. 4 train on her way to Manhattan Village Academy at about 8 a.m. last month."

Gawker's ad campaign reads: "If you see something, eat something - Look, bitch, we don't care how skinny you need to be by the time your Hamptons share starts, we just want to get to work - Sweet Christ, why don't you just drug yourself like the rest of us? For fuck's sake."

Feeling the pain of poor judgment from the evening past? The Replenishing Hangover Recovery System may not help with the chump you kissed last night that somehow managed to already leave you 6 voicemails by morning, but it will at least help with those problemsome skin issues. Not sure if it cures whisker-burn, but Borba claims to shed off the after effects from a night of indulgence.

Expensive toasting in pursuit of midnight make-out sessions.

Krug, Clos du Mesnil 1995 ($750)
Bollinger Blanc de Noirs Vieilles Vignes Françaises 1998 ($575)
Dom Pérignon Rosé 1996 ($400)
Salon Le Mesnil 1996 ($300)
Krug 1995 ($200)

Piercing the night's sky, China's ice and snow sculptures radiate before the annual festival. The festival boasts over two thousand different sculptures. This impressive sight may just surpass Christmas trees and children's Christmas morning faces when it comes to lighting up.

So does Google. This month's highlights of search term referrals of how you came to find Shake Well Before Use are in. Who needs search engine optimization when there's enough determined one-handed-typers to go around? Maybe this post will be the start of a new trend.

penis t viral video
mile high club videos
insatiable sex drive
older men blogs
katie rees sex photos
flacid penis
how to get erect
kitten running through a field
sex for xmas
whore trickery
sex relaxing midi
spy sex blogspot

I power Blogger! Err, maybe not. Showing their true colors, the blogosphere proves their one degree of separation with a game of tag. Dragging their feet and whining "I normally don't do this" to make themselves appear 'so above these petty games', they wasted your precious RSS-readin' time. To that, I say, get the fuck over yourselves, you whine enough everyday as is. So your traffic sucks one day because you made a post that only stalkers, and in rare cases, people who secretly want to date you and thus Googled you, want to read.

Here's the background on the link-clusterfuck: Jeff Pulver started it, who tagged to Steve Garfield, who tagged to Zadi Diaz and Kevin Nalty, who tagged to Robert Scoble and Danah Boyd and Steve Rubel (but wait, didn't Jeff Jarvis link to Steve?), who linked to Steve Hall (who when asked said it was stupid to tag him because he's not going to play personal shit on his blog) then some other person who I'm not caring about who at this point linked to Niall Kennedy, Irina Slutsky, Ze Frank, and WMJ tagged me, la la la whatever. You can go to the Blog Tag Tree, but they just tag some advertisement of themselves at the end that I didn't bother to read.

So, without further ado, 5 things my blog readers may not know about me (I'm going with a chronological theme):

1. I'm somehow a long descendant of a King. I'm part Persian (though, I don't look it), and the family name on my mother's side comes from King Khosrov. My grandfather and most of my cousins were born and raised in Iran. Some don't speak English, so I someday would like to learn how to speak Farsi.
2. I'm a modeling school dropout - at the tender age of 13, it just wasn't a good fit.
3. I technically started coming into the agency I'm at now (VML) after being given a tour when I was 14 because I was deadset on being a graphic designer. I would come in on my spare time after school and on days off to play around with Adobe apps on the Creative Director's computer and be a little "cool hunter" of websites for him. At 16 I became an intern, at 17 I became a contractor, and finally at 20 I was officially hired (I'm fairly tenacious).
4. I used to be hardcore into the "rave scene" (but never once have done drugs). I started going to 2-3 a weekend when I was 15. At 16, I threw and promoted a few alongside a good friend of mine. Oddly enough, "underground rave parties" helped lead to my later calling in viral marketing.
5. I was a straight-A (99-100%) student in every Math class I took throughout my K-12 school career. Though I didn't enjoy math classes, there wasn't an equation or theorem I couldn't naturally figure out... it just seemed to always make sense to me.

For variously random reasons, I tag: Tony Pierce of LAist, the boys of American Copywriter, Regine of (who hands down runs my #1 all-time favorite blog) We Make Money Not Art, Stuart Wallace of DHADM, and a fellow-cute-blog-girl (Regine, Whitney, and I should start a club), Whitney Matheson of Pop Candy.

Radar Magazine claims to have made their list, checked it twice, crammed it with naughty and left out the nice. The list not being the VIP entrance to that upcoming panty party you were wanting to sneak out to, but the 10 most dangerous play things of all time. Topping the list is everyone's backyard buddy, lawn dart. Features including real, live puncture wounds and totally awesome pet piercings. Unless you're fatigued with all the end-of-year, best-o-6, and holiday gift lists plaguing the blogosphere, you can view the entire list here (page by page - admittedly annoying and most likely an ulterior move at increasing ad figures) or cry about what didn't make the list but sent you to the ER.

via: wmmna

For hopeless romantics and mile high club fanatics alike, a new kind of dating/networking service offers to bring you closer to your dream. AirTroductions acts like an eHarmony for the open skies. By filling out a profile and interests, you're seated next to a "match" on the next time you fly. While mainly intended for finding a date, friend, or job, the fear of sitting next to one of the three dreaded "typicals" (the sickly, the chatty, and yes, the baby) alone should be enough convincing to at least try it out. While no immediate flights are in queue, the delicate mixture of fear and fantasy will probably make me give it a try.

via: Fimoculous

Prime and pervy real-estate for the uber-elite-geeks. (via: Fleshbot)

PCs continue to have penis-envy over the I'm A Mac ads. (Previously: Hi, I'm a Mac and I'm an Imitator)

Troublesome pests growing in your girlfriend? Try spray on condoms. Like Head On, only without the looping late night commercials.

As December wears on, many of us are debating calling in sick for holiday parties or simply taking advantage of the liquor along with anyone lacking quick wit around us. Thankfully, those equally snotty types at Enlighten have streamlined the process of holiday party excuses. While not providing any excuses for inebriated interns, xerox machines, locked doors, hangovers, or affairs, the Holiday Party Excuse Generator does at least give you snippy ways of avoiding the chaos. On the other hand, you may be able to snag some job security with a digital camera in tote if you do decide to make a cameo.

Hooray, it only took a month. But yes, comments should be back up and running (if you experience any issues though, shoot me an email). Unfortunately, if you submitted any comments previously, they were never received - so feel free to comment away now!

In other comment news, Gawker reports on This Week in Commenter Executions:

"Executed: Verlaineverlaine
Crime: Downgrading Ian Spiegelman to the status of "anonymous tipster." Also, sheer idiocy.

Executed: raincoaster
Crime: Mind-blowing unfunniness, excessive "me-too" action.

Executed: Aidan O
Crime: Being totally wrong, on several points.

Executed: RobotsonCasiotones
Crime: Using the "I'm looking at you, X" joke twice in two days."

(Sidenote: A big thank you goes out to all the victims that helped along the way with the code from hell that could only be this blog: Gerald, Ken, Scoot, Seth, and Steve)

Google Earth takes the lens cap off on its nude scenes. Trying to compete with the celebrity crotch shot obsession, Google Sightseeing lists the Top 10 Naked People caught from space. Ken, a Top Ten fanatic, cites Top Ten lists being at their peak when they're a "comedy of errors". Despite the comedy, perhaps it's best to keep these pixelated.

50,000 chocolate bars. Move over, Cadbury.

Don't let Timmy play kickball without it.

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the States - to the rest, just follow suit like we do for holidays that aren't our own (Cinco de Mayo) and share some drinks over full bellies. If you're feeling a bit crafty with the long weekend ahead, Make offers some festive ideas for the over-achievers in the house.

As with most holidays, the dreams of little boys and girls across the globe must eventually be crushed. Ah, yes, like the tooth fairy, let me divulge in telling you that the Tryptophan fairy doesn't exist either:

"According to popular belief, tryptophan in turkey meat causes drowsiness. Turkey does contain tryptophan, which does have a documented sleep-inducing effect as it is readily converted into serotonin by the body. However, tryptophan is effective only when taken on its own as a free amino acid. Tryptophan in turkey is found as part of a protein, and, in small enough amounts, this mechanism seems unlikely.

A more-likely hypothesis is that the ingestion of large quantities of food, such as at a Thanksgiving feast, means that large quantities of both carbohydrates and branched-chain amino acids are consumed. Like carbohydrates, branched-chain amino acids require insulin to be transduced through the myocyte membranes, which, after a large meal, creates a competition among the amino acids and glucose for insulin, while simultaneously creating tryptophan's reduced competition with other amino acids for the Large Neutral Amino Acid Transporter protein for transduction across the blood-brain barrier. Alcoholic beverage consumption at holiday feasts is likely to compound the effect."

Posing as playful playmates, these toys present precarious positions for parents.

"Aquapets are silly interactive pets that love to play with you. Watch them dance. Hear them chirp. Theyll even play a song. Aquapets react to you and their buoyant buddies so let the floating fun begin. Ages 5+".

Consumers who bought this item also bought: The Rabbit - another cuddly interactive pet that aims to please. Always appreciative of cynicism and sarcasm, this comment was worth me clicking 5 stars for:

"Dora is quite the explorer. She brings many hours of fun. Good for both girls and boys.
Seems to be dishwasher safe." - Reviewer: earachemyeye

While Core77 wonders how such a product gets stamped for approval when it directly resembles a giant trouser snake, I'm somehow not surprised. Not easily forgetting my association with Disney when I meet new people, I'm reminded of the urban legends of Disney that we all grew up to know and love.

Feeling robbed over telecom termination fees, an Idaho lawfirm is suing T-mobile. T-mobile, who is infamous for their $200 termination fee, is accused of breaking laws in 13 states.

T-Mobile's fee is the same whether a customer cancels at the start or near the end of a contract, and is applied even if the customer is canceling because of poor service, according to the law firm Greener, Banducci, Shoemaker, the initial plaintiff. The firm is being represented by Boise attorney Curt McKenzie.

Under consumer protection laws the 13 states, if Bellevue, Wash.-based T-Mobile, a U.S. subsidiary of the German company Deutsche Telekom AG, can figure out how much damage it incurs from a broken contract on a case-by-case basis, it can't charge a standard fee, the lawsuit says.

One of the many themes making its way through the grapevine of brands and advertisers this week is the thought of "culture pollution." Originally spoken in reference to barcodes on packaging, the concept of culture pollution can run much deeper.

While you're sitting through meetings this week, wondering how many people around you are "drinking the kool-aid", consider this the alternative of what you could be sitting through instead.

via: The Sherman Foundation (Thanks, Gerald!)

Toys and "toys" are usually loved by people of all ages. The lines being so blurred nowadays, Tesco wanted to select Blur More from the Photoshop Filters. Unfortunately, Karen, a mother of two didn't get the sick design-geek-joke.

"Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".

The Tesco Direct site advertises the kit with the words, "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

"Soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars"."

In an attempt to breathe life back into the enjoyment of film, Scott Alan Johnson shows that you don't need an attention span to shoot analog.

I've always enjoyed shooting analog for the 'wtf' surprises you discover in the dark room. This Flickr set is similar to that kind of moment, in that all I could utter was "Wow...". Be on the prowl, ladies, the squirrel-whisperer is a-vail-a-ble according to his Flickr profile!

via: lomography

Sharpen those swords for some early pumpkin carving, it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day. A bit too much of a sourpuss to submit yourself to listening to "arrrrggghh"'s all day? Align yourself with Transbuddha's ninja loyalty and burn down a Captain D's.

List of 20, super happy fun Japanese commercials. Though, as commenters point out, they're not all commercials... and, well, they're not all exactly Japanese. But don't let that stop you from soaking in some laugh tracks and dubayu-tee-eff moments. And of course, there's some pervy ones for all you one-handed typers and friends of AdRants.

via: BoingBoing

Man loses 6 years of his life, puts dramatic backdrop to losing 6 minutes of yours (via Transbuddha).





Gridskipper makes faces and talks typefaces.









Paris faces off with record sales (via AdRants).






Statistics show that kids enjoy moldy veggies (via BoingBoing).






Don't make faces at the lunch lady, mystery meat makes faces back (via core77).

Perhaps in a fit of jealousy over Flickr's organicly growing folksonomy and a bit of impatience on their own part, Google created the beta Google Image Labeler. Instead of waiting around for their community to create and build on socially interactive language, Google is actively soliciting users to compete for points. While not an organic process, being able to interact with someone in real time to create labels is a feature that other folksonomy-based sites (Flickr, del.icio.us, etc.) lack.

My only critique is on the points system - it seems that generating points only offers a listing in the Top 5 Scores. Perhaps because it is a beta version, that the points system is still being tweaked. It would be nice to see it be expanded to either offer rewards or leverage the competitive edge more in some fashion.

Underground clubs interpretively predicted the death of vinyl. One day I will need to come to terms with the fact that I may only need one turntable instead of two, and a couple crates instead of a few. Somehow that still feels like it'll be a lonely day, but perhaps I'll take an alternative route to satisfying my illegal online music fix:

"Apparently, during the 50s underground clubs in Eastern Europe & the USSR would play pirated music from the West, but the only material they had to record onto were old x-ray films. Which produced some rather lovely looking results."

Via: Protein Feed

Excuse me, Miss, are you smuggling peas in your blouse?

As BoingBoing reports, RyanAir gets a little sassy with security.

"RyanAir, the discount airline that's threated to sue the UK government over new security procedures has posted this provocative image to its website: a crowd of naked people running away from their piled-up clothes, with the caption "New Airport Security Procedures Put the Fun Back Into Flying."

They're onto something here. If the existence of a plot to use implausible liquid explosives against aircraft creates a global war on moisture at the airports, imagine what a similar plot to smuggle a bomb up a terrorist's ass would engender. The war on moisture is bad, but it's nothing compared to the inevitable war on body cavities."