An artificial mouth was recently developed that has the ability to chew food similar to a human, making it a good robotic taste-tester to better understand flavor. When food is chewed, it releases compounds which affect taste. Using speed motors, mechanical teeth, and a pipe pumping "enzyme-containing artificial saliva", the mouth-bot is an almost-living, breathing (via helium, anyway) mastication machine.

The latest in solar satchels is Noon Solar. Designed with one-sided solar paneling, these purses can help charge your various gadgets on the go. The designs are definitely lacking but will prominently show off your love for the environment due to their biodegradable materials. Check their site for more in-depth specifications about going solar with your accessories.

A satellite system devoted to tracking sex offenders recently released from prison suffered from too many bugs to be realistically implemented. The original idea was to use four satellites as a GPS to keep more accurate tabs on known sex offenders by way of an attached radio-transmitting ankle tag.

"...a pilot found that the signal emitted from the tracking devices could be blocked by clouds, buildings or leaves. It was also lost underground and on some trains. The Ministry of Justice has decided to focus instead on lie detectors as a means of controlling paedophiles released on parole. The U-turn will leave ministers facing accusations that they have failed to address the threat that communities face from 30,000 registered sex offenders."

Surfing for more pr0n than peripherals (who can blame them?), Gizmodo pointed to what is being held up as the best use of LEDs ever: the LED labia. Yes, stuck in a stripping woman's crotch is a panty-full of blinking, shiny lights in case you needed extra incentive to stare. Though this usage is difficult to top, Clitter most certainly out does the LED labia any day.

We are in shock over the fact that a tipster pointed out we didn't cover a shoe-in story from January yet. Called Nudar, this beta radar is a location-based service for strip clubs and nudity. With helpful maps and even a GPS plugin, Nudar aims to give you a handful of attractions. Nudar 1.0 was announced to be in the works earlier this month with the assurance that the service would still be free. No road trip should be without a plentiful amount of tits, so this is definitely a must-have gadget for your jalopy.

[A weekly link post of skipped over (and slightly stale) sights and stories]

• German Playboy billboard uses rain to promote wet t-shirts

• Space Invader + QR code scarf gives you that warm and geeky feeling

• Sensor-embedded bra records "vertical breast displacement"

• 20% of IMs are never sent

• Rabbit Travel Vibe is 12 volts of vroom vroom vibration

Broadcasting from Austin and ready to achieve geekgasm, this year is sure to be as overwhelming as the past. Shake Well Before Use has admittedly been slacking on blogging in the last few weeks due to all the excitement and anticipation. Regardless, come join in the nerdfesticle that is SXSW at these two events:

How to Rawk SXSW: Achieving Geekgasm

16bit Pownce Party

Created for compatibility with MSN Messenger, the i-Buddy appears to be a watered-down wannabe version of a Nabaztag. The device connects via USB and reflects emoticons received from your friends. If a happy emoticon is received, the gadget will flap its wings and light up, however if a angry emoticon is received, it will turn red. If only the device wasn't output only, we'd love to try it out as a tethered voodoo doll against our friends who are too stubborn to switch to Gtalk.

A "sex ring" operated by young Japanese school girls was recently uncovered by decoding their use of txtshorthand. The girls were apparently selling sex to older men via mobile transactions.

"Take this piece of seemingly benign code, for example:
IkebLURV1700Yukichi2JC1
Ikeb = Ikebukuro. The neighborhood that the girl is in.
LURV = "I will have sex with you."
1700 = Time: 5PM

Yukichi2 = Yukichi Fukuzawa, the guy whose face is on the 10,000 yen note x 2 = I cost 20,000 yen
JC = Joshi Chugakusei (Junior high school girl. JS would be elementary school girl, JK would be high school girl)
1 = Grade 1. In Japan, 1st year of junior high = 7th grade. "

Unfortunately(?), this may make for a valid reason for parents to enforce no texting at the dinner table.

Invading Japan for further analysis, a swarm of 200 robots are taking to the skies. In preparation for forecasting pollen levels, Weathernews, Inc. is sending out what looks like enlarged ping pong balls with embedded LEDs.

"[They] weigh 1 kilogram (2.2 lbs) and measure 30 centimeters (1 ft) across, consist of a monitoring unit housed in a spherical styrofoam shell. A pair of eyes glow 5 different colors — white, blue, green, red and purple — to indicate the level of Japanese cedar and cypress pollen in the air."

Called Pollen Robots, the spherical bots monitor and provide up-to-the-minute pollen reports and maps online.

A new mobile concept called P-Per offers a reach-around to the iPhone-famous touchscreen. By using minimal parts, the potential phone offers sustainability.

"The design consists of just 4 layers, a printed circuit board, extruded polycarbonate, recycled titanium, and a wrap around flexible haptic LED touchscreen."

Textually says the design would satiate tech nerds, but we have to politely disagree. The mobile industry should be tapping into those that feel left out from the need for breakable screens and texting typos. Though we may be trading style for bulk, tactile QWERTY keyboards are a must for the true "tech nerds" who text under the table.

Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.

Thermal Bras and Panties Could Boost Your Mobile Phone Battery
A new pair of underwear could use your body heat to charge your batteries. The prospect of using nanowires or microspopic strands of silicone has researchers convinced this may be the future of fashion. "This discovery could lead to special clothing that could produce electrical current for batteries in cells and handheld computers," reports Green Daily. While still a concept, the idea of electricity-producing lingerie is pretty hot.
Previously: Solar swimsuits power up bikini babes

Sensual Intelligence Possibly More Sci-Fi Than AI
Like using your left hand, sex toys are now trying to mimic a foreign feeling by the use of an artificial "mind". Dubbed "Sensual Intelligence", a new down-there-device called SaSi uses a positive or negative button for the user to select what does and doesn't feel good. The device learns your preferences, but also apparently pushes your boundaries on occasion as well. Regina Lynn of Wired's Sex Drive column claims, "...I thought everyone would be clamoring for one, because frankly it's the closest thing to cunnilingus you can get from a robot."

Sex::Tech Starts Today
The Sex::Tech Conference starts today in San Francisco, focusing on youth education. With speakers such as Deb Levine, Anastasia Goldstein, and Nikol Hasler, the event is sure to draw in those in the know. Some of the sessions today covered "OMG!STDs: The New Frontier of Text Messaging for Sexual Health", "Integrating Technology Into Sexual Health Programs", and "Wired for Sex: Connecting People in the 2.0 Sexuality".

Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.

Kiss-Me Meter Measures Make-Out-Worthiness
Catching up on the CES craziness from last week, we're surprised this one didn't make it into Engadget's Crapgadget edition. The Kiss-me Meter is designed to measure the make-out-worthiness of your breath and thus advise on whether you should make a move or start gargling some serious mouth wash. By blowing into the gizmo, an LED indicator shows where you stand. If we saw someone using this, we would make sure we stood far away.

OhMiBod Compatible With iPhone, No Word On Macbook Air
OhMiBod should've held off from announcements for another week, as only a few days ago it was boasting iPhone compatibility. No word yet on if the line of vibrators plans to sync up with the new Macbook Air. We're guessing that the serious lack in audio quality in the Macbook Air may make for some not-so-hot vibrations.

Unlimited HD Porn That Doesn't Hit Your Wallet
Another CES find that aimed to target those who had wandered over from AVN was FyreTV. FyreTV is a black box of porn that delivers a punch. With an ethernet connection, the black box delivers around 20,000 different porn titles. The service costs about $10 a month, which is fairly cheap, but doesn't compare to the fact that you can still get a lot for free. Unfortunately, we wouldn't give it a great rating simply for the fact that it's streaming, rather than stored. Seeing a buffering notice in the middle of a scene may make for an instant FAIL.

Perhaps the only thing more pervasive than flashing screens (or lack there of) at CES is advertising. Engadget points to what they found to be the best and the worst ads at CES this year. The team doesn't give a blow-by-blow review of each ad, but we can only imagine the snickering that took place behind the camera. What are your best/worst picks from the ad album?

RFID technology continues to merge into a variety of miraculous experiments around the globe. The latest concept uses RFID tags to communicate to washing and drying machines how individual articles of clothing should be treated. The objective is to avoid laundry dilemmas. Named ClothTAG, the concept could be cute, but may also create an entire new generation of overly-tech-dependent hipsters.

While many of us tech-fetishists can't take our eyes off of the saturated-with-shiny CES floors, others have alternatives that catch their glance. The infamous I4U News (the ones that bring you your monthly girl-on-gadget moments) are taking their reporting to the array of oh-so-predictable booth babes. These are the lovely ladies that somehow got lost on the way to the AVN expo next door. Thankfully, gaggles of geeks are around to ogle and escort them around gadgets accordingly.

Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.

Non-Booth-Babe Babes Battle for CES Floor Space
Apparently I won the best summary of the CES news for twittering “CES effectively splooged all over my Google Reader" this week. Thankfully, Gizmodo gives something for us to effectively splooge over: non-booth-babe babes at this year's CES. Captured in pixels, "Videographer Richard Blakeley and noted letch Nick McGlynn went out and snapped some pics of some of the real babes of CES". The Gawker site of course failed to mention their competition: the geek girl of CES, Veronica Belmont.

Bed Speakers Make Your Lonely Bed into a Boombox
A new "technology" aims to drown out the sound of your sobbing in a lonely bed with dropping a few beats. The Slip Sonic Impact's BM101 speaker panel slips between your mattress and box spring to help vibrate your emptiness away without the need for a dishwasher afterwards. Turning your box spring into a boombox, the system will run you about $200-$400. Gadget Lab reports that in addition to basement dwellers, they'll be marketing the product to pregnant women.

Luxury Intimate Toys Attempt to be Inoffensive
Adult toys take many shapes and forms. Trying to make sex with yourself a little more stylish, the B3 collection designed sleek and less-than-obvious shapes for sensual fun. From the Tuyo orb to the Onya pill, the toys are meant to pleasure the eyes as much as all the other enjoyable places.

Conceptual in form and function, a hard drive proposed by Degroenebanaan would visualize your data storage in an artsy way. Called the IVY, the gizmo focuses on manipulability and customization. Depending on the amount of data stored, the OLED screen can change from being completely blank to saturated with a Mondrian-like design

Using a toothbrush head, motor and battery, you too can make a Bristlebot. After watching the video, we're convinced that the Bristlebot is some possessed mini-me version of the Roomba (Tantek has coined the term Toothba for the prickly palate cleaner). Admittedly, we'd like to create a whole army of them and watch them battle it out in a dirty bathtub.

Concepting a cute hub for the holidays, designer Sang-Hoon Lee created the Chocolate Portable HDD. Unlike other gadgets named Chocolate, this design would allow users to actively "break off" USB pieces of memory similar to a candy bar. Complete with a touchscreen interface, this design is best suited for those who have a sweet tooth for storage.

Santa suits are sweeping the States. From Santacon to the slutty-Santas of Fredrick's of Hollywood, santarchy is everywhere. Heating up the holidays in a slightly different manner, the USB Santa boots help keep your toes warm during the hours of tedious online shopping. Between USB boots and a scorching laptop, mistletoe make-outs won't be necessary to maintain that warm and fuzzy feeling through the winter.

GUIs, ZUIs, and all the WIMPs in between, interfaces of the present don't meet the expectations of movies from the past. In 2006, a column by Nielsen outlined the top ten "bloopers" of using fictional interfaces in film. Highlights include "You've Got Mail is Always Good News" and "Access Denied / Access Granted". Visual designers such as Mark Coleran are responsible for what appears on the shiny computer screens for the big screen. 2007 certainly was no stranger to the foreign interfaces of the future. Ocean's 13 saw a text field with no buttons, where the user would be forced to type everything out without even the slightest usage of txtshorthand (e.g. "search for a good movie" or "zoom in to photo"). Hopefully, the interfaces of fiction don't have an IRL future.

Targeting your txt-fetish, a new study tries to conclude that text messaging is creating a lack of social confidence among the T9-hungry teenagers.

"The social impact of text messaging is the subject of renewed concerns as SMS use stretches to notifying someone of a death in the family, wedding RSVPs, breaking up with long-term partners and even quitting a job. News.com.au reports. "Experts say the text-messaging generation is fast becoming socially inept as it hides from "normal communication"."

Are door knocks and phone calls really still the norm? Is communicating in 160 characters avoiding social interaction or getting to the core of it? Most likely, it's best to be titillated rather than timid about technology, as it has always been known to drive social change.

[img via]

Getting ready for Halloween requires more than a pair of fishnets to freeze the rest of the night in. Many are making the evening memorable with a variety of morbid recipes.

Perhaps among the most interesting, the Robotic Snap-O-Lantern was at the recent Maker Faire featuring pumpkin robots (I'm coining the term "geekins"). With a couple of Duracells, the Snap-O-Lantern turns on to be quite the deadly squash.

Craftzine and Slashfood are spookifying your sweets with Spider Cakes and Punk Glow-in-the-Dark Cupcakes.

If Snap-O-Lanterns and sweets aren't enough to satiate, Suicide Girls tackles the unstoppable sexy costume scene. Seemingly, sexy-anything costumes are the ultimate undead.

Typically making news for the latest "toys", vibrations are powering much more than personal pleasure. Using kinetic energy from passing traffic, researchers are finding ways to power various sensors for bridges.

"This allows companies to monitor the bridge (ice conditions, traffic flows, health status, et al) without the need for battery maintenance, up to decades in theory."

The thought of energy going green by way of good vibrations is sure to pleasure the planet.

Made for traveling or long-distance lovers, the Hug Shirt helps you feel warm and fuzzy in more ways than one. The shirt consists of multiple sensors that react to SMS by way of Bluetooth.

"Embedded in the shirt there are sensors that feel the strength of the touch, the skin warmth and the heartbeat rate of the sender and actuators that recreate the sensation of touch, warmth and emotion of the hug to the shirt of the distant loved one."

Nominated as one of the best inventions of 2006, this mobile-focused fashion line has yet to hit the mainstream, but is currently debuting new models for 2007.

[via | img via]

Leave it to "dumb phone" consumers to be dirty minded. A few recent models of Motorola phones featured a 3D image of a clock face that some users selectively saw an image of a penis in. Embarrassed, Motorola quickly responded:

“The image that you see is actually the result of shading applied to the clock background graphic to give it more of a three-dimensional appearance, in line with the theme of the phone. The graphic is actually built as concentric circles stacked on top of each other, with a lighting filter applied to give it depth."

Going off of Leeroy Jenkins invading advertising, it was only a matter of time until advertising invaded LOLcats. Yes, advertising has now penetrated and confused LOLcat lovers, the cute cuddly trend that confuses serious cat lovers around the globe. Dubbing this LOLvertising, advertisers have successfulled 1-up-ed ICanHasCheezBurger commenters with their Cingular txt commercial reference. Prepare yourself, it's only a matter of time before KFC runs spots for "where's mah bukket?"

Arse Elektronika, a conference about pr0nnovation kicked off tonight at Kink.com's Porn Palace in San Francisco. The opening speech by Johannes Grenzfurthner of Monochrom was considerably delayed due to, not surprisingly, a porn shoot that had run two hours late earlier in the day. After cleaning up spots and stains, Johannes apologized and took the stage. Opening the speech with looking back at a patent for a condom containing a computer chip that played music, he asked, "is this progress?". To some perhaps, to others, the envelope needs to continually be pushed, or in this case played with.

From polaroids to VHS to virtual reality, technology has always been quick to appeal to porn consumers. Johannes pointed to films like the Lawnmower Man (a movie he says is more outdated looking than Tron) and his experiences with an iPhone (the first thing his friend showed him on it was porn and said "you can even zoom in!"). Talking about merging sex with technology, a wise crack from the crowd yelled "I gave up my penis for an iPhone!".

Up next was a short film about overhead projectors. The film began with "Overhead projection is a dying medium. The only way to save it is to explore porn possibilities." A man then proceeded to masturbate using an overhead projector to document his "results". Somehow, I felt my years of grade school lecture notes being violated.

Skipping the Electric Orifice Orchestra due to technical difficulties, the Moaning Lisa was proudly propped up on stage. A modified mannequin of sorts, the Moaning Lisa is a life-size (and in some areas, augmented life-size) "doll" that contains sensors in an assortment of places around her body. Matt Ganucheau explained that partially due to the Nintendo Wii, alternative controllers on a public scale made people ask what can we interact with to enhance experience? As such, the Moaning Lisa's controls are unique, and like the female orgasm, there are no instructions. Photo sensors in her eyes detect presence and others around her body make her moan. The moaning is generated by the sound of 200 pleasured women. Why 200? Matt says it just sounded cool.

More from Arse Elektronika to come, the Flickr album can be viewed here.

Everyone loves doing data. Now in life-size, you can truly carry out your lust for line graphs. EMF Displacement (pictured left) is a 10'x12' sculpture of the electromagnetic field generated by a FPL substation. Other projects that construct everything from flight paths to GPS drawings can be seen here. Sadly, there's no glory holes in these graphs.

[via]

[A weekly link post of skipped over (and slightly stale) sights and stories]


• World's smallest Pacman game

• Nintendo Duck Hunt sweater

• Transformer handheld gaming

• Star Wars geeks on parade

• USB calculator pillow