Last month we pointed out the potential conspiracy to cover-up nipples in advertising. Yet another example perked up this month on an ad for Swedish lingerie brand Kroppsnara. Considering it's a full-frontal photo featuring a 1/4th cup bra, there's really no getting around this awkward lack of areola.
A satellite system devoted to tracking sex offenders recently released from prison suffered from too many bugs to be realistically implemented. The original idea was to use four satellites as a GPS to keep more accurate tabs on known sex offenders by way of an attached radio-transmitting ankle tag.
"...a pilot found that the signal emitted from the tracking devices could be blocked by clouds, buildings or leaves. It was also lost underground and on some trains. The Ministry of Justice has decided to focus instead on lie detectors as a means of controlling paedophiles released on parole. The U-turn will leave ministers facing accusations that they have failed to address the threat that communities face from 30,000 registered sex offenders."
Surfing for more pr0n than peripherals (who can blame them?), Gizmodo pointed to what is being held up as the best use of LEDs ever: the LED labia. Yes, stuck in a stripping woman's crotch is a panty-full of blinking, shiny lights in case you needed extra incentive to stare. Though this usage is difficult to top, Clitter most certainly out does the LED labia any day.
We are in shock over the fact that a tipster pointed out we didn't cover a shoe-in story from January yet. Called Nudar, this beta radar is a location-based service for strip clubs and nudity. With helpful maps and even a GPS plugin, Nudar aims to give you a handful of attractions. Nudar 1.0 was announced to be in the works earlier this month with the assurance that the service would still be free. No road trip should be without a plentiful amount of tits, so this is definitely a must-have gadget for your jalopy.
[A weekly link post of skipped over (and slightly stale) sights and stories]
• German Playboy billboard uses rain to promote wet t-shirts
• Space Invader + QR code scarf gives you that warm and geeky feeling
• Sensor-embedded bra records "vertical breast displacement"
• 20% of IMs are never sent
• Rabbit Travel Vibe is 12 volts of vroom vroom vibration
Following AdRants lead, we are left with little other comment than 'WTF?' on this recent find in advertising. With an overload of push-up, Nila Sliced Mushrooms is promoting their product by pinning up models on the side of semi's.
"[The ad is] one part come hither and stick your throbbing member between my huge breasts until you fill this can with your uncontrollable lust look. And you've got the perfect "WTF was that but it sure felt good" ad."
We're not so sure that feeling 'Fungtastic!' gets us past flaccid on this one, as we typically stray away from women associated with fungus growth.
Broadcasting from Austin and ready to achieve geekgasm, this year is sure to be as overwhelming as the past. Shake Well Before Use has admittedly been slacking on blogging in the last few weeks due to all the excitement and anticipation. Regardless, come join in the nerdfesticle that is SXSW at these two events:
How to Rawk SXSW: Achieving Geekgasm
16bit Pownce Party
Off of the naughty ad feed over at Trendhunter, they've compiled 67 ways sex sells (we thank them for not holding out for a 69 joke). From Apple ass-vertisements to pin-up calendars (we recommend the cupcakes) and pussy-product-placements, the ads are something to look up to other than upskirts. Some of the ads may have crossed your sight before, but even we were surprised about somehow missing the "boobs as a paintbrush" campaign.
Playing purely for the panty shots, a video game clip shows the desperate attempts at catching a glimpse of g-strings. Pairing Zelda against Princess Peach, the Super Smash Bros. Brawl has the appropriately dressed characters fighting often in mid-air. The player attempts to pan around for a shot of pixelated princess panties. We'd recommend that Princess Peach look into at least a knee-length skirts for avoiding being fragged. More importantly, we'd recommend the player to poke around The Accidental Video Game Porn Archive and get over it.
A new attempt at a study aims to prove that wearing high heels can improve a woman's sex life. The research looked into the muscle and electrical activity around the pelvic area while wearing high heels. While the researchers are wanting to prove that the measurements equate to a better sex life, we're almost certain that the medical explanation lies somewhere within how other people's muscles react to the sight of someone in heels.
A "sex ring" operated by young Japanese school girls was recently uncovered by decoding their use of txtshorthand. The girls were apparently selling sex to older men via mobile transactions.
"Take this piece of seemingly benign code, for example:
IkebLURV1700Yukichi2JC1
Ikeb = Ikebukuro. The neighborhood that the girl is in.
LURV = "I will have sex with you."
1700 = Time: 5PM
Yukichi2 = Yukichi Fukuzawa, the guy whose face is on the 10,000 yen note x 2 = I cost 20,000 yen
JC = Joshi Chugakusei (Junior high school girl. JS would be elementary school girl, JK would be high school girl)
1 = Grade 1. In Japan, 1st year of junior high = 7th grade. "
Unfortunately(?), this may make for a valid reason for parents to enforce no texting at the dinner table.
This is perhaps on the side of trying too hard, but someone took the time to edit their way through a variety of Star Trek episodes for anything resembling an orgasm. The Trekkie YouTube clip features the numerous seasons and character climaxes. Cheesy? Definitely. Worth your time? Questionable. [via]
Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.
Thermal Bras and Panties Could Boost Your Mobile Phone Battery
A new pair of underwear could use your body heat to charge your batteries. The prospect of using nanowires or microspopic strands of silicone has researchers convinced this may be the future of fashion. "This discovery could lead to special clothing that could produce electrical current for batteries in cells and handheld computers," reports Green Daily. While still a concept, the idea of electricity-producing lingerie is pretty hot.
Previously: Solar swimsuits power up bikini babes
Sensual Intelligence Possibly More Sci-Fi Than AI
Like using your left hand, sex toys are now trying to mimic a foreign feeling by the use of an artificial "mind". Dubbed "Sensual Intelligence", a new down-there-device called SaSi uses a positive or negative button for the user to select what does and doesn't feel good. The device learns your preferences, but also apparently pushes your boundaries on occasion as well. Regina Lynn of Wired's Sex Drive column claims, "...I thought everyone would be clamoring for one, because frankly it's the closest thing to cunnilingus you can get from a robot."
Sex::Tech Starts Today
The Sex::Tech Conference starts today in San Francisco, focusing on youth education. With speakers such as Deb Levine, Anastasia Goldstein, and Nikol Hasler, the event is sure to draw in those in the know. Some of the sessions today covered "OMG!STDs: The New Frontier of Text Messaging for Sexual Health", "Integrating Technology Into Sexual Health Programs", and "Wired for Sex: Connecting People in the 2.0 Sexuality".
Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.
Kiss-Me Meter Measures Make-Out-Worthiness
Catching up on the CES craziness from last week, we're surprised this one didn't make it into Engadget's Crapgadget edition. The Kiss-me Meter is designed to measure the make-out-worthiness of your breath and thus advise on whether you should make a move or start gargling some serious mouth wash. By blowing into the gizmo, an LED indicator shows where you stand. If we saw someone using this, we would make sure we stood far away.
OhMiBod Compatible With iPhone, No Word On Macbook Air
OhMiBod should've held off from announcements for another week, as only a few days ago it was boasting iPhone compatibility. No word yet on if the line of vibrators plans to sync up with the new Macbook Air. We're guessing that the serious lack in audio quality in the Macbook Air may make for some not-so-hot vibrations.
Unlimited HD Porn That Doesn't Hit Your Wallet
Another CES find that aimed to target those who had wandered over from AVN was FyreTV. FyreTV is a black box of porn that delivers a punch. With an ethernet connection, the black box delivers around 20,000 different porn titles. The service costs about $10 a month, which is fairly cheap, but doesn't compare to the fact that you can still get a lot for free. Unfortunately, we wouldn't give it a great rating simply for the fact that it's streaming, rather than stored. Seeing a buffering notice in the middle of a scene may make for an instant FAIL.
Sushi + tush = pervy form of Onigiri
[via (nsfw)]
Created by Ogilvy out of Frankfurt, this series of ads aims to nudge the naughty-minded into buying an otherwise innocent product. The ads were produced for Globus Supermarket in Germany. With tag lines like "satisfy your appetite", the play on imagery is pleasurable until you find yourself wanting to fondle mangos and feel up bananas.
While many of us tech-fetishists can't take our eyes off of the saturated-with-shiny CES floors, others have alternatives that catch their glance. The infamous I4U News (the ones that bring you your monthly girl-on-gadget moments) are taking their reporting to the array of oh-so-predictable booth babes. These are the lovely ladies that somehow got lost on the way to the AVN expo next door. Thankfully, gaggles of geeks are around to ogle and escort them around gadgets accordingly.
Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.
Non-Booth-Babe Babes Battle for CES Floor Space
Apparently I won the best summary of the CES news for twittering “CES effectively splooged all over my Google Reader" this week. Thankfully, Gizmodo gives something for us to effectively splooge over: non-booth-babe babes at this year's CES. Captured in pixels, "Videographer Richard Blakeley and noted letch Nick McGlynn went out and snapped some pics of some of the real babes of CES". The Gawker site of course failed to mention their competition: the geek girl of CES, Veronica Belmont.
Bed Speakers Make Your Lonely Bed into a Boombox
A new "technology" aims to drown out the sound of your sobbing in a lonely bed with dropping a few beats. The Slip Sonic Impact's BM101 speaker panel slips between your mattress and box spring to help vibrate your emptiness away without the need for a dishwasher afterwards. Turning your box spring into a boombox, the system will run you about $200-$400. Gadget Lab reports that in addition to basement dwellers, they'll be marketing the product to pregnant women.
Luxury Intimate Toys Attempt to be Inoffensive
Adult toys take many shapes and forms. Trying to make sex with yourself a little more stylish, the B3 collection designed sleek and less-than-obvious shapes for sensual fun. From the Tuyo orb to the Onya pill, the toys are meant to pleasure the eyes as much as all the other enjoyable places.
New research in the area of monkeys points to a natural reason for females to fake orgasms. Faking it may in fact help increase procreation rates, or at the very least, an enjoyable time for the male counterpart.
"Female monkeys may shout during sex to help their male partners climax, research now reveals. ... The researchers found that females yelled during 86 percent of all sexual encounters. When females shouted, males ejaculated 59 percent of the time. However, when females did not holler, males ejaculated less than 2 percent of the time."
Perhaps faking it shouldn't make you feel so guilty anymore.
Sex in advertising sometimes pushes seemingly touchy subjects. Very few venture into fetishes outside of obsessing over whichever product is being promoted that week. Being a bit more bold, an ad out of Canada last year went kinky. Bringing attention to BDSM, the ad for laser hair removal displayed masked women in push-ups and panties with the tag line, "stop torturing your skin". While the ads were meant to combine the sex-and-shock sells tactics, it's unfortunate the spectrum of BDSM was tagged as torture. Some might prefer a spanking over repeatedly long laser hair removal sessions.
The Mile High Club flew a little less high after two passengers spent more time being jerks than jerking off. Apparently, the ready-to-take-off ticket holders started fooling around in their seats and felt like taking the party to the restroom. When sex-less, law-abiding passengers complained, the flight attendants confronted the couple. The couple obviously had yet to climax, as they then threatened the attendants, which made for a mandatory diversion to Portland on their way to Las Vegas. The plane promptly kicked off the couple and left for Las Vegas, sans sex.
[via]
YesButNoButYes pokes fun at a variety of niche fetishes found across the interweb. The list starts with a link to a specific fetish that had a sad outcome. A man on Flickr had a thing for women in the backseat of cars wearing seatbelts. He had apparently favorited an entire collection of examples. When a few Flickr members realized that their public photos were becoming a fetish, they called him out and he deleted the entire account.
Luckily, the list of ten "funny fetish" sites may help satiate your niche needs without the nasty account deletion. From Japanese Girls with Big Shoes to Sneezing Babes to Slave Leia societies and more PG-rated obsessions like girls drinking tea, the internet is a truly a series of infinite niches. [via]
Elsewhere: Tracking fetishes on Twitter
Getting ready for Halloween requires more than a pair of fishnets to freeze the rest of the night in. Many are making the evening memorable with a variety of morbid recipes.
Perhaps among the most interesting, the Robotic Snap-O-Lantern was at the recent Maker Faire featuring pumpkin robots (I'm coining the term "geekins"). With a couple of Duracells, the Snap-O-Lantern turns on to be quite the deadly squash.
Craftzine and Slashfood are spookifying your sweets with Spider Cakes and Punk Glow-in-the-Dark Cupcakes.
If Snap-O-Lanterns and sweets aren't enough to satiate, Suicide Girls tackles the unstoppable sexy costume scene. Seemingly, sexy-anything costumes are the ultimate undead.
Crabs, the intimately-natured itch that's not commonly sought out by those engaging in sexual activity, are in demand at a Dutch natural history museum. Although the news appears as a hoax at first hearing about it, the not-so-pleasant search for the parasite seems to be true.
"The Rotterdam Natural History Museum has appealed for somebody — anybody — to give it a single crab louse for its collection, amid fears they may be dying out."
What's more interesting about the article is the explanation for why the lingerie lice might be near extinction.
"The article, titled "Did the Brazilian Kill the Pubic Louse?" found that crabs rates had fallen first in women, and several years later in men in Leeds even as rates of other sexual ailments were flat or rising. The authors hypothesized that the bikini wax known as "The Brazilian" that removes all or most pubic hair, might be to blame. "Although initially predominantly seen in females, extensive hair depilation, including pubic hair, has become popular in males in the past few years," wrote study author Nicola Armstrong. "This, along with reduced transmission rates from female partners, may account for the recent similar reduction in male patients." Moeliker said that in essence, the lice's habitat is being threatened."
Yes, Brazilian waxes are threatening to put a species on the endangered list! The wonderful writer from the Associated Press of this article ended the story on an amusing note of how pubic lice are akin to house sparrows. Just remember, every time you wax, god kills a crab.
[Thx, Jeremy!]
Leave it to "dumb phone" consumers to be dirty minded. A few recent models of Motorola phones featured a 3D image of a clock face that some users selectively saw an image of a penis in. Embarrassed, Motorola quickly responded:
“The image that you see is actually the result of shading applied to the clock background graphic to give it more of a three-dimensional appearance, in line with the theme of the phone. The graphic is actually built as concentric circles stacked on top of each other, with a lighting filter applied to give it depth."
We've seen our share of unusual condom usage over time, so the DIY condom "decor" should come as no surprise. Bored and perhaps a bit "frustrated", someone created an instructables-esque way to make a colorful flower vase. By rolling colored condoms over an appropriately-sized vase and cutting off the tip, you're left with a beautiful place to put flowers and weird out house guests all in one. Let's hope that the spermicide smell doesn't over-power the petunias.
A recent study shows that having sex everyday can help improve sperm quality. Though men are often told to control climaxing too often in order to keep their sperm counts up, a group of scientists down under (in Australia) have shown that it contradicts fertility.
"Among men whose fertility problems stem from genetic damage to their sperm rather than a low sperm count, abstaining from sex can make their difficulties worse, research led by David Greening, of Sydney IVF, has shown.
The pilot study of 42 men whose sperm showed significant DNA damage found that daily ejaculation reduced this by 12 per cent. While the results are preliminary and no direct effect on fertility has yet been measured, they suggest that certain men could benefit from having sex more often, or from abstaining less before providing semen for use in IVF."
We might not drink 8 glasses of water each day, but we most definitely won't disobey doctor's orders on this one.
Arse Elektronika, a conference about pr0nnovation kicked off tonight at Kink.com's Porn Palace in San Francisco. The opening speech by Johannes Grenzfurthner of Monochrom was considerably delayed due to, not surprisingly, a porn shoot that had run two hours late earlier in the day. After cleaning up spots and stains, Johannes apologized and took the stage. Opening the speech with looking back at a patent for a condom containing a computer chip that played music, he asked, "is this progress?". To some perhaps, to others, the envelope needs to continually be pushed, or in this case played with.
From polaroids to VHS to virtual reality, technology has always been quick to appeal to porn consumers. Johannes pointed to films like the Lawnmower Man (a movie he says is more outdated looking than Tron) and his experiences with an iPhone (the first thing his friend showed him on it was porn and said "you can even zoom in!"). Talking about merging sex with technology, a wise crack from the crowd yelled "I gave up my penis for an iPhone!".
Up next was a short film about overhead projectors. The film began with "Overhead projection is a dying medium. The only way to save it is to explore porn possibilities." A man then proceeded to masturbate using an overhead projector to document his "results". Somehow, I felt my years of grade school lecture notes being violated.
Skipping the Electric Orifice Orchestra due to technical difficulties, the Moaning Lisa was proudly propped up on stage. A modified mannequin of sorts, the Moaning Lisa is a life-size (and in some areas, augmented life-size) "doll" that contains sensors in an assortment of places around her body. Matt Ganucheau explained that partially due to the Nintendo Wii, alternative controllers on a public scale made people ask what can we interact with to enhance experience? As such, the Moaning Lisa's controls are unique, and like the female orgasm, there are no instructions. Photo sensors in her eyes detect presence and others around her body make her moan. The moaning is generated by the sound of 200 pleasured women. Why 200? Matt says it just sounded cool.
More from Arse Elektronika to come, the Flickr album can be viewed here.
Having a passion for popping can take on multiple forms. Apparently, bubble wrap celebrated it's 50th birthday recently. Violet Blue kindly points to who is receiving pleasure from 50 years of insatiable popping. From bras to bikinis, and "kittehs", too, bubble wrap has laid a foundation in becoming a fetish. While many leave their lust as casual habit, there's always those who prefer it hardcore.
Previously: Popping her chocolate-covered cherry
Nervous habits go mobile
Always delightful, Dita von Teese poses for PETA. It seems as though PETA aims to be the new Playboy these days, as attractive naked women are their solution to any situation. Dolled up in thigh highs and heels, Teese teaches the importance of animal birth control in the 50's-esque photo. The burlesque beauty is far from the first to grace the gaze of the "naked for a cause" PETA porn. Pam Anderson, Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, Christy Turlington, and most recently Alicia Silverstone have all stripped for PETA's SLR. Surely, there's no shortage of women who will use a good cause as an excuse to bare all of their beauty with class.
